Sunday, May 31, 2009
Welcome to Benzine Moto World
Welcome to my blog.
I own a motorcycle workshop and retail outlet here in Dublin, Ireland. I decided to set up this blog to supplement my website http://www.blakestowntyres.net as it seems easier to use and I'm a stupid bollox when it comes to this shit.
Anyway, my business is motorcycles - tyres, repairs, parts, accessories, clothing and it's really a great lil ole shop and any bikers in Dublin or Ireland should really give me a call.
Anyway, some of the stuff posted here also appears in my rant & rave pages on the website but maybe a more general audience will enjoy the shit. Some of it needs an understanding of Irish affairs, other is just general comment.
Well, here goes wth the first lot of crap. Oh yeh, some of the stuff is a little out date but, sure, what the fuck, I have to start somewhere
You've all come across them. The fucking dipsticks who thinks that the outside lane on the dualler or motorway is for driving in at 80 KPH ( see, I'm gone metric ). I can even understand this if the inside lane is blocked ( NO, I CAN'T ) but, fucking hell, why do it when the it's clear ? Just get out of my fucking way, cretin !!!!!!!!!!Or same thing but driving at 1 Km below the speed limit.
What is it ? Simple ignorance of the rules ? Plain stupidity ? Or just being a fucking bollocks - I'M not breaking the speed limit, so neither will you. ( Jasus, would'nt it be great if these fuckers were so law-abiding in everything else, like using their bleeding indicators, or using their mobile phones WHEN FUCKING STATIONARY ). Look, thicko, if I want to break the speed limit, I'll fucking break it and take my chances with the boys in blue. I don't need a vigilante ( who obviously does'nt know the Road Rules anyway ), to stop me. And worse again, if YOU are traveling well below the speed limit and preventing EVERYBODY from overtaking and making progress. Thick fucks !!!
And here's another one - you're on the motorway in the outside lane, ( M50 springs to mind ), both lanes chock-a-block, outside lane making nice progress at around the speed limit, all the grannies, geriatrics, LEARNERS, trucks, bicycles moving at 80 kph in the inside lane when, all of a sudden, all the vehicles in front of you light up like fucking Christmas trees. What's happening ? I'll tell you what's happening. Some jerk-off in a fucking piece of shit of a truck decides that he wants to overtake the other piece of shit in front. The only problem is that HIS piece of shit can't get past 55 mph, so he forces everyone in the outside lane to reduce speed in a hurry. ( By the way, you plank, the speed limit for trucks on motorways is 55 mph and you're not supposed to be in the outside lane anyway - Look, I'm trying to go metric but fuck it ). Of course, the thick bollix then finds that he can't pull back in 'cos all the grannies, geriatrics, etc., are traveling bumper to bumper, he can't get the poxy truck past 55 mph and we now have two lanes of traffic traveling at 55 mph. What a bunch of fucking twats !!!
And don't bother to mail me telling me I should'nt be breaking the speed limit and that speed kills, 'cos that's a load of bollox. What is killing people is the total lack of driving skills, pure stupidity and ignorance, licences handed out willy-nilly ( like as if answering a few multiple choice questions solves the problem ), not knowing our driving skill and physical limits, and, basically, general fucking mayhem.
If we, in this great little country of ours, made sure that our driving skills were up to speed ( no pun intended ), maybe, just maybe, we could bate along at a reasonable speed and not kill ourselves.
Early on in the year, I traveled approx 160 miles of UK motorway. Everyone broke the speed limit - I know, they all passed me - and everyone used the lanes as they should be. Progress was only fucking rapid. I saw a few traffic police but not one vehicle pulled for speeding ( then maybe they got caught on camera - if so, not many drivers appeared to give a shite ). Of course, most motorways in the UK are actually motorways, like they have three, yes, three, lanes. What we have here are glorified dual carriageways. And before you ask, yes, I kept within the official speed limits and the reason : I was'nt familiar with route, the weather was not the best and that's called using your head. Or maybe even a bit of skill.
Well,that's the first rant and rave out of the way. Love it or hate it, that's up to you. Just keep buying tyres and shit from me, OK?
George, known to his friends as Dubya and proud to include Adolph, Uncle Joe, Ghengis Khan, Saddam ( oops, they fell out, did’nt they ? ), Franco, Mussulini among those friends – I just noticed, most his friends are dead – does this mean George is dead too ? Well, he’s obviously brain dead anyway.
Do you remember a programme back in the eighties called Sptting Image ? This was when Ronnie Reagan and Maggie Thatcher ruled the world and Ronnie had a constant hard-on for Maggie. Anyway we will not dwell on the stomach churning image of Rons and Mags hard at it but rather recollect the portrayal of Rons. Spitting had an on-going gag called the “ The President’s brain is missing “ and would show Rons sitting around in a vegetative state ( an accurate prediction as it turned out ) while his brain ( an undersized walnut ) legged it.
My point being, you may ask ? Well there are obvious parallels to be drawn between Rons and Georgie. Rons’ saving grace was that he actually had a brain even if :
It was the size of walnut
It was missing.
This cannot be said for Georgie. He just has’nt got a brain. I am fully convinced that he is’nt even a zombie. Zombies were once human.
No, I am absolutely convinced that the Republican Party secretly contracted the creators of the Muppet Show and Spitting Image to construct George with strict instructions that he was to not have even the level of intelligence of Gonzo, simply an ability to repeat what he is told, parrot-fashion.
Unfortunately, they created a parrot which was grievously flawed in that, while real parrots are quite capable of mimicing the english language ( or any other language ), Dubya just simply mangles it and cannot even remember what he is told to say ( to the great amusement of the entire world ).
Unfortunately, there is a more sinister side to all of this. In their efforts to give this fucking muppet a human side, the creators imbued Georgie with the personality traits of his aforementioned friends but forgot to add some of the traits of Mother Teresa, Ghandhi, Jesus Christ, Mohammed and others of their ilk.
So we ended up with a brain-dead, language mangling muppet with all the charm of a dog turd floating in your soup, the IQ of a squashed apricot and the instincts ( not to be mistaken for intelligence ) of a cross between rabid rothweiller and a starving Nile crocodile.
Why do they not just turn him off, you may ask ? Can’t, that’s why. In their efforts to go one better than Adolph and create the perfect human being, they made the mistake of creating an indestructable Muppet . There are only two ways that Georgie can be destroyed. One is by the vote of the American people ( democracy in action ????? ) who obviously have the intelligence of Ronnie R as they voted Dubya back in last time. The second is by his term of office concluding which happens in a year or two. Also, Georgie, while not having any brain or human intelligence, was given a highly developed survival instinct and duly managed to procreate ( don’t ask ) and produced, fully developed, a Don Rumsfeld and a Connie Rice plus some other small bit players.
The question must be asked : Will Georgie and pals actually terminate at the appropriate time ?
Or has some dastardly plot been hatched to ensure their survival ?
Dare we even contemplate this “ End of Days “ ?
In the meantime, Iraqis are slaughtered in the name of peace and democracy, Lebanese are slaughtered in the name of peace and democracy by the Middle Eastern American puppets, Afghanis are abandoned to the tender mercies of the Taliban and the war lords, young Americans die daily for peace and democracy, North Korea gives the fingers to the USA and the world with no fine US show of strength, Iran gives the fingers to America and the world with no fine American show of strength, definitely some innocent people are held without trial by America for years, torture is the rule rather than the exception, the environment suffers because of the self-interest of American business, Home Land Security personnel are stationed in the airports of sovereign countries to make sure America is safe and fuck the rest of you. The sub-muppets, Aherne and Blair, toady up to Georgie in their own separate but equally nauseating fashion. The rest of the world and the UN protest in vain. And so-forth, ad nauseum.
So, what happens next ? Will the US of A invade Norn’Ireland to ensure that no members of RIRA convert to Islam, thereby posing a threat to American homeland security ? Will a nuclear bomb be dropped on Wales because they speak a strange and unknown language ( hold on, that’s not going to happen – Dubya can relate strongly to strange and unknown languages ). Will America tale a leaf from the Israelis and establish buffer zones in Mexico and Canada in case all those millions nasty, smelly arabs living there decide to launch katushka rockets attacks on the Alamo ? ( Canada I can live with, leave Mexico alone, they entertained us greatly during the World Cup ). Maybe any one who does’nt spell colour as color, tyres as tires, does’nt call petrol, gasoline ( you get my drift ? ) will be eliminated ?
I’m not a religious person but I will make an exception in this guy’s case. I am now preparing a rota of prayer to the Gods of all major and minor religions – Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Krishna, etc., etc. etc., in the hope that at least one Deity is listening and has the compassion to ensure Georgie’s demise.
In the meantime, go to http://www.politicalhumour.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm
I own a motorcycle workshop and retail outlet here in Dublin, Ireland. I decided to set up this blog to supplement my website http://www.blakestowntyres.net as it seems easier to use and I'm a stupid bollox when it comes to this shit.
Anyway, my business is motorcycles - tyres, repairs, parts, accessories, clothing and it's really a great lil ole shop and any bikers in Dublin or Ireland should really give me a call.
Anyway, some of the stuff posted here also appears in my rant & rave pages on the website but maybe a more general audience will enjoy the shit. Some of it needs an understanding of Irish affairs, other is just general comment.
Well, here goes wth the first lot of crap. Oh yeh, some of the stuff is a little out date but, sure, what the fuck, I have to start somewhere
You've all come across them. The fucking dipsticks who thinks that the outside lane on the dualler or motorway is for driving in at 80 KPH ( see, I'm gone metric ). I can even understand this if the inside lane is blocked ( NO, I CAN'T ) but, fucking hell, why do it when the it's clear ? Just get out of my fucking way, cretin !!!!!!!!!!Or same thing but driving at 1 Km below the speed limit.
What is it ? Simple ignorance of the rules ? Plain stupidity ? Or just being a fucking bollocks - I'M not breaking the speed limit, so neither will you. ( Jasus, would'nt it be great if these fuckers were so law-abiding in everything else, like using their bleeding indicators, or using their mobile phones WHEN FUCKING STATIONARY ). Look, thicko, if I want to break the speed limit, I'll fucking break it and take my chances with the boys in blue. I don't need a vigilante ( who obviously does'nt know the Road Rules anyway ), to stop me. And worse again, if YOU are traveling well below the speed limit and preventing EVERYBODY from overtaking and making progress. Thick fucks !!!
And here's another one - you're on the motorway in the outside lane, ( M50 springs to mind ), both lanes chock-a-block, outside lane making nice progress at around the speed limit, all the grannies, geriatrics, LEARNERS, trucks, bicycles moving at 80 kph in the inside lane when, all of a sudden, all the vehicles in front of you light up like fucking Christmas trees. What's happening ? I'll tell you what's happening. Some jerk-off in a fucking piece of shit of a truck decides that he wants to overtake the other piece of shit in front. The only problem is that HIS piece of shit can't get past 55 mph, so he forces everyone in the outside lane to reduce speed in a hurry. ( By the way, you plank, the speed limit for trucks on motorways is 55 mph and you're not supposed to be in the outside lane anyway - Look, I'm trying to go metric but fuck it ). Of course, the thick bollix then finds that he can't pull back in 'cos all the grannies, geriatrics, etc., are traveling bumper to bumper, he can't get the poxy truck past 55 mph and we now have two lanes of traffic traveling at 55 mph. What a bunch of fucking twats !!!
And don't bother to mail me telling me I should'nt be breaking the speed limit and that speed kills, 'cos that's a load of bollox. What is killing people is the total lack of driving skills, pure stupidity and ignorance, licences handed out willy-nilly ( like as if answering a few multiple choice questions solves the problem ), not knowing our driving skill and physical limits, and, basically, general fucking mayhem.
If we, in this great little country of ours, made sure that our driving skills were up to speed ( no pun intended ), maybe, just maybe, we could bate along at a reasonable speed and not kill ourselves.
Early on in the year, I traveled approx 160 miles of UK motorway. Everyone broke the speed limit - I know, they all passed me - and everyone used the lanes as they should be. Progress was only fucking rapid. I saw a few traffic police but not one vehicle pulled for speeding ( then maybe they got caught on camera - if so, not many drivers appeared to give a shite ). Of course, most motorways in the UK are actually motorways, like they have three, yes, three, lanes. What we have here are glorified dual carriageways. And before you ask, yes, I kept within the official speed limits and the reason : I was'nt familiar with route, the weather was not the best and that's called using your head. Or maybe even a bit of skill.
Well,that's the first rant and rave out of the way. Love it or hate it, that's up to you. Just keep buying tyres and shit from me, OK?
George, known to his friends as Dubya and proud to include Adolph, Uncle Joe, Ghengis Khan, Saddam ( oops, they fell out, did’nt they ? ), Franco, Mussulini among those friends – I just noticed, most his friends are dead – does this mean George is dead too ? Well, he’s obviously brain dead anyway.
Do you remember a programme back in the eighties called Sptting Image ? This was when Ronnie Reagan and Maggie Thatcher ruled the world and Ronnie had a constant hard-on for Maggie. Anyway we will not dwell on the stomach churning image of Rons and Mags hard at it but rather recollect the portrayal of Rons. Spitting had an on-going gag called the “ The President’s brain is missing “ and would show Rons sitting around in a vegetative state ( an accurate prediction as it turned out ) while his brain ( an undersized walnut ) legged it.
My point being, you may ask ? Well there are obvious parallels to be drawn between Rons and Georgie. Rons’ saving grace was that he actually had a brain even if :
It was the size of walnut
It was missing.
This cannot be said for Georgie. He just has’nt got a brain. I am fully convinced that he is’nt even a zombie. Zombies were once human.
No, I am absolutely convinced that the Republican Party secretly contracted the creators of the Muppet Show and Spitting Image to construct George with strict instructions that he was to not have even the level of intelligence of Gonzo, simply an ability to repeat what he is told, parrot-fashion.
Unfortunately, they created a parrot which was grievously flawed in that, while real parrots are quite capable of mimicing the english language ( or any other language ), Dubya just simply mangles it and cannot even remember what he is told to say ( to the great amusement of the entire world ).
Unfortunately, there is a more sinister side to all of this. In their efforts to give this fucking muppet a human side, the creators imbued Georgie with the personality traits of his aforementioned friends but forgot to add some of the traits of Mother Teresa, Ghandhi, Jesus Christ, Mohammed and others of their ilk.
So we ended up with a brain-dead, language mangling muppet with all the charm of a dog turd floating in your soup, the IQ of a squashed apricot and the instincts ( not to be mistaken for intelligence ) of a cross between rabid rothweiller and a starving Nile crocodile.
Why do they not just turn him off, you may ask ? Can’t, that’s why. In their efforts to go one better than Adolph and create the perfect human being, they made the mistake of creating an indestructable Muppet . There are only two ways that Georgie can be destroyed. One is by the vote of the American people ( democracy in action ????? ) who obviously have the intelligence of Ronnie R as they voted Dubya back in last time. The second is by his term of office concluding which happens in a year or two. Also, Georgie, while not having any brain or human intelligence, was given a highly developed survival instinct and duly managed to procreate ( don’t ask ) and produced, fully developed, a Don Rumsfeld and a Connie Rice plus some other small bit players.
The question must be asked : Will Georgie and pals actually terminate at the appropriate time ?
Or has some dastardly plot been hatched to ensure their survival ?
Dare we even contemplate this “ End of Days “ ?
In the meantime, Iraqis are slaughtered in the name of peace and democracy, Lebanese are slaughtered in the name of peace and democracy by the Middle Eastern American puppets, Afghanis are abandoned to the tender mercies of the Taliban and the war lords, young Americans die daily for peace and democracy, North Korea gives the fingers to the USA and the world with no fine US show of strength, Iran gives the fingers to America and the world with no fine American show of strength, definitely some innocent people are held without trial by America for years, torture is the rule rather than the exception, the environment suffers because of the self-interest of American business, Home Land Security personnel are stationed in the airports of sovereign countries to make sure America is safe and fuck the rest of you. The sub-muppets, Aherne and Blair, toady up to Georgie in their own separate but equally nauseating fashion. The rest of the world and the UN protest in vain. And so-forth, ad nauseum.
So, what happens next ? Will the US of A invade Norn’Ireland to ensure that no members of RIRA convert to Islam, thereby posing a threat to American homeland security ? Will a nuclear bomb be dropped on Wales because they speak a strange and unknown language ( hold on, that’s not going to happen – Dubya can relate strongly to strange and unknown languages ). Will America tale a leaf from the Israelis and establish buffer zones in Mexico and Canada in case all those millions nasty, smelly arabs living there decide to launch katushka rockets attacks on the Alamo ? ( Canada I can live with, leave Mexico alone, they entertained us greatly during the World Cup ). Maybe any one who does’nt spell colour as color, tyres as tires, does’nt call petrol, gasoline ( you get my drift ? ) will be eliminated ?
I’m not a religious person but I will make an exception in this guy’s case. I am now preparing a rota of prayer to the Gods of all major and minor religions – Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Krishna, etc., etc. etc., in the hope that at least one Deity is listening and has the compassion to ensure Georgie’s demise.
In the meantime, go to http://www.politicalhumour.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)